Sunday, July 30, 2006

Double standards over parenting

Big Sister says that in a family, mothers and fathers are interchangeable; there is no reason to think that the mother should provide the best childcare. Mothers should have the same opportunity as fathers to pursue a career outside the home, and in order to make this possible, fathers should do more housework and childcare. Anyone who says that the mother should be the principal child-carer is a misogynist.

However, if the parents divorce, all of this changes. Suddenly, the mother is the best natural parent, and she should get custody by default. The father is an unsuitable parent, and the children belong with their mother. A complete turn-around.

This is a blatant contradiction. But like everything else that Big Sister says, it does not have to make sense; it just has to serve the interests of women.


John Doe said...

This is true, up to a point, but the problem isn't simply that the feminists do a hypocritical about-face in the event of a divorce. There is another faulty ideology in operation which is not so obvious nor widely recognized and that is the doctrine that it is "in the best interests of the children" to go to one parent OR the other, not both. This can and does produce tragic results for mothers and their children as well. Between the two, however, it is almost always the fathers that get shafted.

jw said...

What I find interesting is that the feminists are always complaining about men's violence: Thus saying that men make unfit parents. Yet, lone fathers have a very low incidence of child abuse; not as low as two parent families, but three times lower than single mothers (64, 21, 12 per 100,000).

Why the difference?

No one knows. There are several possibilities:

- men who win custody are a special group and of superior parenting ability (this one seems unlikely as most men gain custody when the mother runs off)

- men are afraid of appearing to be a bad parent and so go out of their way to be good parents (I doubt it)

- the group single mothers contains a violent sub-set which does not appear in the group lone fathers: young, with a bad personal life and on welfare (this is my own opinion)

- lone fathers are almost all working, single mothers are not. Working parents abuse less (maybe, but I doubt it is a big effect)