Tuesday, June 05, 2007

There's a Lot of It About

Cecilia's email reminded me of my brother's case, which is quite similar. He was married for 24 years and has four children. He had a good job, and he worked long hours to support his family. His wife started having an affair with another man, but when he confronted her about his suspicions, she told him he had a dirty mind. In fact, she tried to convince him he was going mad and needed to see a doctor.

Behind his back, she was furnishing another house, by running up debts on credit cards. When the new house was ready, she took the three youngest kids and left him. She didn't want the oldest boy, and told him to stay with his dad. She set up home with this new man, leaving my brother with the credit card debts. She also defrauded money from other members of her family, and from the state benefit system. When she had used up her credit limit, she took out loans under the name of her dead mother. Each child had a trust fund to pay for college, which was set up by their grandparents. She had spent all of these as well. My brother didn't know about any of this until she moved out with the kids. He had had his suspicions before that, but no definite proof.

He obviously sought a divorce. He was paying her money every week for child support, and his lawyer advised him not to, but to apply to the Child Support Agency instead. As soon as he did this, she prevented him from seeing his children.

The stress forced him to give up his career. He took a low-level driving job for one of his friends instead. One day he happened to be driving down the street in which his ex-wife lives. She saw him, called the police and accused him of stalking her. The first thing he knew about this was when the police came to his house and arrested him. He spent the night in a cell, but no charges were brought, for the simple reason that there was no evidence.

His wife began a campaign of harassment against him. He began to receive abusive letters, both at home and at work. She was trying to get him fired from his job so that he would be forced to sell the house, and she would be able to get access to the capital as part of her divorce settlement. He handed all of the letters over to the police, but no charges were brought. She also made false accusations of domestic violence against him as part of the legal battle. It is very likely that her lawyers advised her to do this. She has also poisoned the children against him, convincing them that he is a monster.

He fought through the courts for three years for access to his children and got nowhere. He was unable to pay his lawyers, and they threatened to drop the case, meaning he would have to start all over again. He was forced to borrow thousands from his employer to pursue the case.

He eventually got a divorce settlement which meant that he kept the house, so he was relatively lucky. However, he hasn’t seen his three youngest children in four years. They are now living in a very bad neighbourhood with a high crime rate.

He has had to battle the legal system to obtain copies of his children’s school reports. It seems that all of them have suffered greatly. One of the boys is seeing an educational psychologist. The youngest girl was up in front of a children’s panel for ‘inappropriate sexual behaviour’. He has no idea what this means, and no-one will tell him. He is terrified that his ex-wife’s new partner is abusing the girl, but there is nothing he can do about it.

The children’s grandparents are also completely removed from the children’s lives. My parents never see their grandchildren, and are unable even to send them a birthday card.

My brother is putting away money for the children every month, in the hope that one day he will be able to give it to them.

Everyone – his lawyers, myself and others – have advised him just to give up on his children. The battle to see them was killing him and achieving nothing. His divorce is complete, he still has the house, his health and sanity, and he has a very nice new girlfriend. They don’t live together, and he has sworn never to re-marry. It simply isn’t worth it.

As far as I know – and I have questioned him at length about this – he has done nothing wrong. She just got bored, and wanted a change. Instead of being honest about it, she decided to play the role of the ‘battered woman’, in order to milk the system for more money.

The system is now set up in such a way that women have incentives to lie and make false accusations, and men have absolutely no rights whatsoever. As long as the syste, provides women with incentives to act in this way, they will continue to do so.


Anonymous said...

I imagine many of your readers have stories like that. I was the son in something very similar.

Anonymous said...

I imagine many of your readers have stories like that. I was the son in something very similar. It was far and away the worst thing thats ever happened to me.

BrusselsLout said...

This lady is a thoroughly horrible individual. She sounds like an up-market Shannon Taylor (although she shouldn't read too much into the term "up-market").

I don't see the difference between conning someone as she's done and, say, burgling an old couple. Both are cruel, selfish, inconsiderate acts.

If the government legalised the robbery of people in a powerless position to fight it, at least they'd be consistent. Hypocrites.

Teegan said...

I hate to step out of line and say something like this... but there's a reason women in other countries are kept on short leashes and threatened with death for suspected infidelity.

Seriously I think every man in the Western World should immediately go on a marriage boycott. Seriously; not every man knows what's going on, but I bet you every single woman out there knows how she can use marriage to milk the system.