Monday, July 30, 2007

You're Not Allowed to Be a Battered Husband

One of my friends was a victim of domestic violence for years, at the hands of his violent wife. The final straw came when she stabbed him and he was seriously injured. Fortunately he recoved, and he was divorced. He told me how he called a domestic violence helpline, and was told that they had nothing to offer to men. Domestic violence, apparently, is something that men do to women.

So he eventually set up his own domestic violence helpline. He published his phone number and address, and that is when the trouble really began. Every night in the small hours, a car load of women used to come to his house and scream abuse at him. He used to wake up in the morning to find that they had daubed the front of his house with graffiti reading things like 'Rapist' and 'Paedophile'. He was eventually forced to close his helpline down and retire.

Radical feminists insist that the domestic violence issue is their territory, and no-one else is allowed to intrude. Check out this video on YouTube, of radical feminists disrupting a conference about Battered Men.

16 comments:

Mangawitch said...

I haven't long discovered your blog and it has made interesting reading.
I would try and offer my apologies for my entire sex but I cannot bring myself to admit that I am in any way similar to them.
Women, long ago, took the idea of 'equality' and warped it into a movement that relies on a 'victim mentality' backed up by newly qualified (usually) female psychologists and counsellors who project their own inadequecies onto vulnerable members of society turning them into vicious, men-hating extremists!
Suffering is not a 'woman only' problem and the women who think it is are sorely deluded and guilty of perpetuating the violence and inequality that men suffer today.
Keep up the good work - and remember - the voice that speaks the truth is impossible to silence.

Heretic said...

Thank you very much for your kind words. You do not have to apologise for your entire sex; as I said elsewhere many times, women are not the problem; feminism is the problem. As in WW2, Germans were not the problem; fascism was the problem. I'm glad you derived some benefit and enjoyment from my blog.

R said...

How tragic, the man just wanted to help others like himself.

Only those who have been completely consumed by their hatred could attack someone selflessly trying to help others.

Uncharted Thoughts said...

This is the new face of hatred and racism.

Christian men are the victims.

Our church and marriage is being destroyed by Gay activists claiming we exclude them.

Feminists are making women think there husbands/men are the enemy.

Every racial group targets us as racists and the enemy.

The media is promoting all this hatred towards us. They run degrading ads where men act like cats and women there owners.

You can feel the contempt and hatred when these groups speak.
They hate us. They want to destoy us.

They might not outright say it, but you can feel it.

manrespect said...

Heretic,

I'm keeping an up-to-date register of all significant MRA/Antifeminist/MGTOW bloggers on the MensActivism Wiki 'BlogSphere' page (here) and you are included.

If you'd like your entry re-worded, or would prefer not to be included, contact me at manrespectadmin@gmail

Regards, Rob Case

Heretic said...

Rob, Please count me in.

Kim said...

Sadly, it's true. Radical feminists seem to believe that men are not allowed to be victims; they may only play the role of oppressor or aggressor. Even society in general has a hard time accepting that a man is ever the victim. I've really enjoyed reading your posts, heretic.

BrusselsLout said...

Here's a report from the Guardian regarding masculinity.

Apparently, wimmyn prefer "feminine" men to masculine ones for long-term relationships.

Under PC's distorted view of masculinity perhaps? (And femininity?)

gwallan said...

BrusselsLout said...
Under PC's distorted view of masculinity perhaps? (And femininity?)


(Cue audience) "Hissssss".

Never,ever even hint that men may be allowed to define "femininity".

Only women may do this.

Of course only women are permitted to define masculinity.

R said...

@BrusselsLout

Makes sense to me

The masculine men are used for sex and to make illegitimate children with, while the feminine men are there to be controlled and to pay for her life style and to raise the illegitimate kids.

Seems to be quite common now a days.

BrusselsLout said...

The masculine men are used for sex and to make illegitimate children with, while the feminine men are there to be controlled and to pay for her life style and to raise the illegitimate kids.

R, this is thought-provoking stuff. (I was thinking about it on the bus this morning coming to work.)

It's interesting that women's sexual urges -- deep psychological processes -- are controlled by the fashion of the day. Men are no longer the strong physical protectors and providers they once were in the days of wars and back-breaking manual jobs. They are now smooth money-spinning bankers with small hands!

But even if university's findings are true (that women are now more attracted to feminine men than masculine ones), the so-called "feminine" men are still men.

The PC establishment (which includes universities and the media as well as other bodies) cannot grasp the fact that most women are heterosexual, that most women are NOT lesbian, but are attracted to men.

So they circumvent this horrible truth by inventing the concept of a "feminine" man.

Hereric's title banner to this blog is true, too bloody true.

Teegan said...

When I read stuff like that it makes it hard to simply be anti-feminist... I start feeling misogynistic.

Shan said...

Heretic, thank you for an important blogbit.

First of all to get things in proportion, 20% of domestic violence is suffered by men, 80% by women. Almost all of the violence against men is not serious whereas violence against women frequently maims for life, and kills at a horrifying frequency.

That doesn't mean violence against men is unimportant. Any human suiffering is important. The helpline this man approached should have known their job better.

BUT as observers, on a national view, it is not right to make a huge fuss about the male experience because it is the female experience that is far more widespread and far more serious.
There is also the difference that it is easier for a man to leave. He is less likely to be dependent financially, and a lot of men are far less biologically plugged into their kids too so that too helps them leave if they need to.
That said a battered male is going to be mentally changed, just like a battered female, making any decision or action difficult to do.

As a radical feminist from way back in 1972 I learned first to value myself as a woman. After that it was easy and natural to see that men too need to do this for themselves. After a period of separatism (which cleared my head of a manhating that was entirely appropriate to the way men behaved at the time) I emerged from separatism to find that, wonderfully, many men had changed.

Radical feminism does view men as the enemy: as rapists, murderers, wife beaters, child abusers etc Living in a world where so many men are like this you either face it, and hate them, or hide from it and play bunny silly.
When dealing with any new male except in heavily protected circumstances a female must decide crucially how safe she is. That says a lot about how women have to see men, whether they like it or not.

Once I found that men had changed for the better, well, some of them, I became deeply interested in men's issues. Women;'s stuff by then was old stuff, not only got the Tshirt I'd worn it out.

Nowadays it seems to me that too much of radical feminist wisdom has been forgotten. We need to get it back.
But equally women's anger is used to scapegoat men inappropriately. It is especially horrible that this tends to target GOOD men, real men. The yobs, louts, bullies are too tough to challenge at first so women finding their feet with new power try it out on soft targets.
Understandable but not acceptable.

If we women are to truly be equal then our compassion for male victims has to be there too (Ref. Kim here). But the path to power can't go straight to that lwevel and it makes messy mistakes on the way. Women suppressed and bullied, often victims of violence themselves, are just not going to step straight into understanding the male point of view. I certainly didn't, it took years to even begin understanding and respecting men.

gwallan it is not on for men to define women as they so often do (what women want ... Women are ... etc) and not on for women to define men either. Making snippy jokes on this doesn't help.
What we CAN do is define how WE feel about what the other sex does and how they SEEM to us.

QUOTE The masculine men are used for sex and to make illegitimate children with, while the feminine men are there to be controlled and to pay for her life style and to raise the illegitimate kids. UNQUOTE

Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. What makes you think that mere studs are "masculine"? Prancing piles of muscle are not particularly masculine, they're just meaty and maybe fun for a while.
"Feminine men" is a rubbish idea, no such thing, to me. Men are caring, loyal, sensitive, supportive - in their own very manly way. To me this together with hot temper if desired, tender and steamy sex if desired, strong stroppy challenging stuff against a cruel world, and most of all a man who has tested his body's strength ALL THAT is masculinity.

It takes an incredibly tough man to stick in there - sexually [grin] but I really meant in terms of loyalty, fatherhood, caring, protectiveness. My own appallingly tough man has slogged through 20 years with me and our son is 17. 17 long years of devotion, personal war, deep caring. That REALLY separates the men from the boys and my man is my god on earth.

I'd also like to say a word for the "quiet army" the huge numbers of men who do their jobs and bring the money home. Most of them don't like what they do, they're not very happy, but they keep at it, to be good dads. That's heroism and hardly ever mentioned.
Alongside them are the long suffering mothers who do it all, the home, making money, the lot. Heroes too.
Then we have single parents, mainly single mothers. The greatest heroes of all. Constantly attacked doing the most difficult job under difficult conditions ... where are the medals? the public memorials/ I know, it'll never happen. Far eawsier to spit at them as easy scapegoats.
Yes some women take advantage of their new rights. After centuries of cruelty and being trapped women aren't always going to handle new power well. Son;'t I know it. As a strong lady I've often suffered at the hands of the sisterhood myself.

To end, a plea for careful thinking to make our way through complexity. It just ain't simple. A few things are: as I said to start women suffer massively more violence, and more serious violence, from men than the reverse. But having observed the big crude things like that, it gets very tricky sorting out the balance after that. Thank you Heretic for highlighting one of the tricky bits.

Gunner Retired said...

shan posted: "First of all to get things in proportion, 20% of domestic violence is suffered by men, 80% by women. Almost all of the violence against men is not serious whereas violence against women frequently maims for life, and kills at a horrifying frequency."

shan, this is patently untrue. So untrue it's not even close to any truth. It has been propagated that “Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 44 in the United States - more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined”
This is untrue, so untrue that to allege it is an outright lie. For example: the leading causes of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States in 1996 (not the 'high year' nor the 'low year', just the year I pulled the data on):
Event type / Number / Per Cent
Motor Vehicle Accidents / 1,504,119 / 21.2%
Accidental Falls / 1,243,538 / 17.5%
Other and unspecified environmental and accidental causes / 1,162,272 / 16.4%
Accidents caused by cutting and piercing instruments or objects / 515,986 / 7.3%
Sports injuries / 483,223 / 6.8%
Injuries purposefully inflicted by other than spouse or intimate / 399,240 / 5.6%
Overexertion and strenuous movements / 339,014 / 4.8%
Drugs, medicinal and biological substances, in therapeutic use / 166,687 / 2.3%
Injuries purposefully inflicted by spouse or other intimate / 153,555 / 2.2%
Injuries caused by animals / 137,639 / 1.9%
Accidental poisoning by drugs / 131,928 / 1.9%
Misadventures during surgical and medical care / 124,230 / 1.7%
Suicide and self-inflicted injuries / 102,392 / 1.4%
Struck accidentally by falling object / 87,485 / 1.2%
Caught accidentally in or between objects / 74,995 / 1.1%
Foreign body accidentally entering orifice other than eye / 69,590 / 1.0%
Accidental poisoning by other solid and liquid substances, gases, and vapors / 57,846 / 0.8%
Non-transport machinery accidents / 56,455 / 0.8%
Venomous animals and plants / 50,111 / 0.7%
Accident caused by hot substance or object / 49,766 / 0.7%
Foreign body accidentally entering eye and adnexa / 47,788 / 0.7%
Other / 147,889 / 2.0%
This data is taken from the 1996 National Hospital Ambulatory Medical Care Survey Data File, which can be downloaded via ftp from the National Center for Health Statistics. Domestic violence, referred to in the table as "Injury purposefully inflicted by spouse or other intimate", accounts for 2.2% of injuries to women in this age group.
Rather than being a larger cause of injury than "car accidents and other things combined", domestic violence causes only one-tenth as many injuries as motor vehicle accidents alone (and 0.1% ahead of injuries by 'Non-Transport Machinery Accidents', 'Venomous Animals and Plants' and 'Accident Caused by Hot Substance or Object'... combined!!!).
And as any thoughtful person might expect, as a source of injuries domestic violence is well behind such everyday occurrences as accidental falls and cuts.

REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS: AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY
Martin S. Fiebert
Department of Psychology
California State University, Long Beach
Last updated: November 2007
SUMMARY: This bibliography examines 209 scholarly investigations: 161 empirical studies and 48 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 201,500.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
Per the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families Child Maltreatment Perpetrators IAW Annual Child Maltreatment Report (not exactly supermarket tabloid journalism here, wouldn’t you say?):
1995- Table D-5 (Maltreatment)
*Male Perpetrators of maltreatment upon children: 45,583
*Female Perpetrators of Maltreatment upon children: 74,187 (over 50% more)
1996- Table 2-7 (Maltreatment)
*Male Perpetrators of maltreatment upon children: 55,006
*Female Perpetrators of Maltreatment upon children: 85,751 (over 50% more)
1997- Table 7-1 (Maltreatment)
*Male Perpetrators of maltreatment upon children: 111,473
*Female Perpetrators of Maltreatment upon children: 184,152 (over 50% more)
Table 7-3 (Fatalities)
*Male perpetrator 129
*Female perpetrator 218 (over 50% more)
1999- Table 6-3 (Maltreatment)
*Mother 44.7% (almost 300% more)
*Father 16.1%
Mother and Father 17.0%
*Mother and other 8.2% (over 700% more)
*Father and other 1.1%
Non-parental 10%
Other 3%
Table G7-2 (Fatalities)
*Male perpetrator 238
*Female Perpetrator 361 (over 50% more)
2002- Table 5-1 (Maltreatment)
*Male Perpetrators of maltreatment upon children: 330,780
*Female Perpetrators of Maltreatment upon children: 463,358 (almost 50% more)
Table 4-2 (Fatalities)
*Mother 32.6% (294) (almost twice as many)
*Father 16.6% (150)
*Mother and Father 19.2% (173)
*Mother and other 9.1% (82) (almost 600% more)
Father and other 1.4% (13)
Non-parental 15.9% (143)
Other 5.1% (46)
2003- Table 3-16 (Maltreatment)
*Male Perpetrators of maltreatment upon children: 169,430
*Female Perpetrators of Maltreatment upon children: 285,196 (over 50% more)
Table 3-5 (Fatalities)
*Mother 40.4% (over twice as many)
*Father 18.3%
Mother and Father 17.3%
*Mother and other 6.2% (almost 600% more)
*Father and other 1.1%
Non-parental 10.7%
Other 6.0%
2004- Table 5-1 (Maltreatment)
*Male Perpetrators of maltreatment upon children: 303,604
*Female Perpetrators of Maltreatment upon children: 415,344 (almost 50% more)
Table 4-2 (Fatalities)
*Mother 31.3% (307) (over 200% more)
*Father 14.4% (141)
Mother and Father 22.7% (223)
*Mother and other 9.3% (91) (almost 800% more)
*Father and other 1.2% (12)
Non-parental 10.7%
Other 10.4%
2005- Table 3-16 (Maltreatment)
*Male Perpetrators of maltreatment upon children: 169,430
*Female Perpetrators of Maltreatment upon children: 285,196 (over 50% more)
In virtually EVERY classification of maltreatment of children, the mother was far and away the > MOST < likely perpetrator of maltreatment of children, with the father being the > LEAST < likely perpetrator of maltreatment of children.
Not convinced yet? Review:
http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_2249008,00.html
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_13_102/ai_91752307
http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,,2-10-1462_2290835,00.html
http://www.ksat.com/news/15586264/detail.html
http://www.canada.com/saskatoonstarphoenix/news/story.html?id=932dda19-d1a9-469a-8e4e-004ffbd9ff8b&k=
http://www1.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/MI34241/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=497565&in_page_id=1766&ito=1490
http://www.co.washington.mn.us/client_files/documents/att/Press_Release/ATT-PR04122007.pdf
http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&94382article=61443&archive=true
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3558637.ece
http://disenfranchisedfather.blogspot.com/2007/10/oh-didn-you-know-john-your-son-died.html
http://www.4rkidssake.org/NC3678.htm
http://www.sheriff.org/about_bso/admin/media/newsdetails.cfm?pk=940&sType=M
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/weeping-mother-charged-with-murder-of-two-sons/2005/09/23/1126982231685.html
http://www.whiotv.com/news/10434655/detail.html
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/orange/la-me-drown28feb28,0,2380142.story
http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=68742
http://www.religionnewsblog.com/9516/texas-mother-charged-with-murdering-her-infant-daughter
http://www.parentsbehavingbadly.com/2007/06/04/mother-charged-with-attempted-murder-and-first-degree-child-abuse-after-abandoning-baby-in-plastic-bag/
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/htmlContent.jhtml?html=/archive/2000/05/11/ncot11.html
http://www.wusa9.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=61286
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/mother-charged-with-sons-murder/2005/09/23/1126982222094.html
http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/258994/17/
http://da.lacounty.gov/mr/archive/2005/010505a.htm
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23831743/
http://www.wyff4.com/news/14515260/detail.html
http://www.examiner.com/a-1151327~Mother_charged_with_murder.html
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,321988,00.html
http://news14.com/content/top_stories/588651/mother-charged-with-murder-of-infant/Default.aspx
http://da.lacounty.gov/mr/archive/2004/100604a.htm
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/03/14/america/NA-GEN-US-Adoptive-Parents-Charged.php
http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=276025
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/edmonton/story/2007/02/23/foster-mother.html
http://news14.com/content/headlines/588651/mother-charged-with-murder-of-infant/Default.aspx
http://www.ny1.com/ny1/content/index.jsp?stid=12&aid=65742
http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0108/486438_video.html?ref=newsstory
http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/news-article.aspx?storyid=52101
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/10/21/2065181.htm
http://www.smh.com.au/news/National/Mother-charged-with-murders-of-four-children/2005/02/24/1109180043512.html?from=moreStories
http://www.unchainyourdog.org/news/060119MotherCharged.htm
http://www.friendsofnarconon.org/drug_education/news/drugs_in_the_news/addicted_mother_charged_with_murder/
http://www.ndsn.org/sepoct97/breast.html
http://www.rte.ie/news/2008/0213/noorf.html?rss
http://www.waynecounty.com/prosecutor/docs/pressReleases/2006/2006-October2-CantonFosterMotherCharged.pdf
http://www.heraldextra.com/component/option,com_contentwire/task,view/id,27555/Itemid,53/
Sad, when you stop and think how society so enthusiastically assigns culpability for such heinousness upon men in general and fathers in particular... but let's continue with the expose' shall we?
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=3428050&page=1
http://gothamist.com/2007/01/10/mother_charged.php
http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1965230/
http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_14332.aspx
http://www.todayslocalnews.com/?sect=tln&p=822
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/10/bodies.found/
http://www.theoaklandpress.com/stories/020305/loc_20050203005.shtml
http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2008/jan/04/documents-give-peek-into-case-of-mother-charged/
http://www.thebulletin.us/site/news.cfm?newsid=18378240&BRD=2737&PAG=461&dept_id=619045&rfi=6
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2001/02/12/48hours/main271220.shtml
http://archive.seacoastonline.com/2004news/03182004/world/5901.htm
Whether it’s what you want to hear or not, there’s the data. Sadly... tragically... women can be and are every bit as violent as men (you just don't hear about it in the news is all, and of course the FemiPols don't want you to know about it either).
Gunner Retired

Anonymous said...

gunner....You ok?...You usually post more than this.

Gunner Retired said...

Well, I didn't want to voerwhelm them with too much and at once yanno?
If the moderator here will oblige me for the moment, here's some good reading for anyone interested in how the Misandry evolved to the stage it has: http://theoccidentalquarterly.com/archives/vol7no2/v7no2_Devlin.pdf
These also are a good read, better read in order to grasp the import of what's being communicated:
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=637737
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=637747
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=637741
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=637897
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=615687
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=563280
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=563224
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=570522
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=650284
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=593475
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=627343
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=635412
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=561994
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=507966
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=607937
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=563220
http://boards.msn.com/MensLifestyleboards/thread.aspx?threadid=563216
Okay so it's a chunk of reading... but bear with it. Much will be clarified (as much by the content of the threads, as by the responses?) discussing the Misandrist Paradigm that has been allowed to fester in America until it reached the putrid stage that enables and empowers the wanton rejection of male victims of DV/IPV disallowing them even recognition as a legitmate victim of crime (domestic violence) much less access to tax payer funded resources and assistance so enthusiastically offered to female victims of DV/IPV provided of course they are willing to assign culpability for their state upon some man in their lives (even if they must fabricate allegations of sordid to fulfill this requirement).
Gunner Retired