Saturday, November 28, 2009

From Heretic's Postbag

Dear Heretic,

I have recently read most of your blog entries, and I agree almost to the dot of the i: in particular, I tend to say that I am pro-equality, pro-man, and pro-woman, and therefore, by necessity, anti-feminist.

There is one fundamental issue, however, where I think that you misjudge

You ascribe many things to feminism (hypocrisy, inability or unwillingness to understand reasoning, ad hominem and ad virem attacks, ...) that in my experience are more related to women in general, rather than feminists in particular. For example, wrt to hypocrisy: Very many women, whether feminists or not, would consider their own cheating ``his fault'' (``He drove me to it by being an unfeeling bastard!''), while his cheating is (unsurprisingly) his fault. Such experiences I have made again and again in various forms where women are concerned, e.g. female relatives as a child, women in the office, and girl-friends. Reading online diaries or forums on relationships gives the same impression (although the latter do contain disproportionally many feminists and, obviously, women who either have genuine complaints or are temporarily emotionally upset).

Consider the following extreme example:
A few years ago, I worked eight hours a day with two women, and was regularly brought to the point that I had problems controlling the impulse to simply put one of them over my knee for a hiding: Opinions were immutable once formed; everything had to be explained thrice, and she still did not understand it; when I tried to diplomatically point out major blunders (that many others would have given her a scolding for), I received a scolding from her for the perceived presumption; she attacked others for doing the exact mistakes she herself did on a regular basis; a harsh word towards her was a deadly sin, her own viciousness towards others was not; everything had to be her way or a long argument ensued, which always ended with my having to bow out, for fear of finally snapping; etc. The more remarkable, seeing that I had thrice her experience, twice her education, at least thirty IQ points more.

(An ironic observation is that I failed as a leader by trying to be considerate, cooperative, understanding of women, etc., where a man like those portrayed in feminist propaganda would likely have been successful.)

The truth is that women are disproportionally more likely to be hypocritic, opportunistic, irrational, whatnot, than men are. Feminism is certainly something that plays on this, and which worsens the situation; however, it is not the root cause of these particular problems.



Dear Michael,

Thank you for your email. I'm glad you found something of value in my blog. Your experience accords with mine, and that of many other men I've spoken to. I can think of countless similar experiences. One which comes to mind is of an ex-girlfriend. We were renovating an old house, and we did most of the work ourselves. She wasn't actually very interested in doing many of the jobs, but she felt that she had to prove that she could do them, or that she was allowed to do them. She would come along when she wanted, pick up some tools, work for about 15 minutes, make a complete mess of it, because she had no patience or interest, then flounce off again, complaining that she was bored. I often had to re-do her work, because it was of such poor quality. If she saw me doing this, she would become enraged. How dare I re-do her work, it's an insult. I either had to re-do it when she wasn't around, or sometimes just leave it unchanged. Then her friends would come around to the house and cast a critical eye over the work. If they found fault with it, they would blame me, because this stuff is man's work, and I am obviously a very poor husband, because I can't do this kind of work. My ex-girlfriend, needless to say, did not leap to my defence.

In another case, a woman in the work-place behaved in a similar way towards a man in the group. We were collectively engaged on a project. At least, we all were except for her. She was engaged in undermining this man's work, and his standing within the group, with a view to forcing him to leave, a plan which eventually succeeded. She forced this man out of his job because she didn't like him. The fact that this could have had long-term consequences for his whole family did not concern her. She was also engaged in trying to obtain as many privileges for herself as possible. She complained loudly that she was the only one of her grade who did not have a company car, it's so sexist, they are picking on me because I am a woman. The wimpy boss gave in to her, perhaps for fear of being sued. "We don't have a spare car right now, but you are next on the list, I promise". She eventually got the car, and then it was 'I am the only one of my grade who doesn't have a company car-parking space, it's so sexist, they are picking on me because I am a woman'.

Having watched this appalling individual at work, it struck me that far from contributing anything positive to the company or the project, she was damaging everything she touched. She had no regard for the company's long-term welfare, and thought only of herself. I have never known a man to behave in this way, and I fail to see how he could get away with it. She was only able to get away with this because men's instincts are not to confront females.

Feminists are, by and large, cynical women who have realised the possibilities that this allows, and ruthlessly act upon them, the moral equivalent of stealing a car simply because the door is unlocked.

Creating no-win situations is one of the commonest forms of female aggression. It amounts to constant criticism, regardless of action. If you perform action X you are criticised; if you do not perform action X you are criticised. The key to understanding this is to realise that action X itself is irrelevant. Five minutes later, action Y will elicit the same response. The game is really about social dominance. This is how women treat each other. The commonest form of female aggression is social exclusion, and this kind of constant criticism is itself a strategy for manufacturing social exclusion. If you are subjected to it, no-one will want to support you in case they face the same fate; you may choose to abandon the social group in order to get some relief.

Having observed behaviour such as this for many years, it is difficult to form the view that women are equal to men.

All they are really interested in is maximising their own social position. Everything else can be sacrificed to this end. This is why women have almost no grasp of the truth or evidence, and feel free to change their story from second to second if it suits them. They are pathologically concerned with avoiding blame or responsibility.

This tendency is shown in lots of small everyday ways. If a phone call had to be made which might be vaguely embarrassing, such as cancelling a social engagement, or inviting someone we hardly knew, or apologising, my ex-girlfriend would get me to make the call. "Oh no, I'm too embarrassed! I can't face it! Could you do it? Pleeeease!" I mistakenly regarded this request as the equivalent of opening a jar, something she is just too weak to do for herself. In this way, her social image remained pristine, and I was the one who ended up with the dirt on his face.

If, on the other hand, during the course of the phone call we were likely to receive thanks and praise, she would take the call herself.

It took me years to get wise to these kinds of strategies. It is easy to make the mistake of assuming that other people think the same way you do. Men, with the possible exception of psychopaths, simply do not think like this.

If people ever wake up to the reality of this in large numbers, society will have to change quite profoundly. We will have to abandon once and for all the ludicrous pretence that men and women are equal. It just isn't going to work.


Miss Ondrya said...

Heretic: "We will have to abandon once and for all the ludicrous pretence that men and women are equal."

Nevertheless, I know from experience that even most Men's Rights Activists are egalitarians. They shake their heads when I point out that this is a useless concept.

BrusselsLout said...

Men are women are certainly of equal VALUE as human beings. But are they equal?

This all depends on what we mean by "equal". I'm afraid it's such a vague term that we can give it any meaning we like and then blur it to capture all other possible meanings whenever we want con the unsuspecting into seeing things our way.

Which is, of course, what our friends the feminists do.

But men and women are NOT THE SAME! But yes, they are of EQUAL VALUE!

When Heretic talks of "the ludicrous pretence of men and women being equal" he takes the first meaning, namely that as the 2 genders of a species men and women are (very) different. (He'll no doubt correct me if I'm wrong.) MRA's, on the other hand, who see themselves as egalitarians, will be using the second meaning, that men are not worth more than women or vice versa.

Egalitarianism/equality is not a useless concept unless we clarify what we mean by it.

Heretic said...

"Men are women are certainly of equal VALUE as human beings. But are they equal?"

In evolutionary terms, women are more valuable than men. That is why it is women and children first in the life-boats. Feminists have never been able to explain this. They maintain this ridiculous pretence that women are second-class citizens, when the opposite is true. When is the last time you saw a woman emptying garbage for a living?

BrusselsLout said...

Here is a superbly made video that covers both the question that Miss Ondrya is raising and Heretic's response. It's called 21st Century Equality.

If you haven't seen it before, enjoy!

Anonymous said...

A well described and Very Very familiar story to me..

I worked in an office for a bitch of a boss I then got transferred to another section - where I was the only man among 5 women aged 23 -27.Frying pan to fire. They rip of my shirt and yes
touch me up . Hilaroius . I get accused falsely of bad mouthing another woman in the office she believes her sistas. I was left to do heavy work lifting boxes etc. and looking after office while they go off together to another office and sort things out there - away from phones which rang non stop. My other work falls behind I get hauled over the coals for not doing my job properly, the supervisor was a decent woman and recognised an admited what was going on but did nothing. After 2 years sick of it I resign with no job to go to. I now avoid dealing with women at work where possible. But then they are everywhere these days.. it is not easy. They are always subjective and rational debate is useless. I give up discussing anything with them. They dont listen and the prejudices given to them by the media and constant feminist propaganda are set in their minds. They say men are predictable because men go for proof and reasons. Try not giving reasons and use emotional language they do back at them Just to see what they say. Maybe you could post something HereticI bet you could predict what they would say!!!!

Jim said...

A lot of what oyu are describing are symptoms of Cluster B disorders. We will always have these people among us. See Barbara Oakley'ss book "Evil Genes." Wher ethe problem is is not that they exist, but that we are so ill-equipped to deal effectively with these people, and specifically we just refuse to stop and punish this kind of behavior when women indulge in it. Mostly this is chivalry and its modern incarnation, 2nd Wave Feminism.